


Endearing

by Kyn_Moonlight (Kyn_Moonligjt)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Body Positivity, Destiny, Friendship, Humor, Kirk prime/Spock Prime referenced, M/M, Romance, and some associated derogatory language, internalized fat-phobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22529632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyn_Moonligjt/pseuds/Kyn_Moonlight
Summary: Jim learns something he doesn’t like about Kirk Prime, but Spock has a more positive interpretationReposting some older works that used to be on sites that are gone now.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 24
Kudos: 164





	Endearing

**Author's Note:**

> Old!Fat!Shatner has been the object of much ridicule, but a lot of us, myself included, are a few (er, quite a few) pounds and years over what a lot of society considers the ideal ourselves. Balancing a positive self-image against potential improvement is a tricky thing – is it healthier to accept who we are, or to want to change? Which set me to thinking, what was Spock’s opinion of an older, somewhat pudgy Admiral Kirk? Or Reboot!Jim’s?

“Captain,” Spock said, waiting outside the door to the workout room Jim was leaving.

“Yes, Commander?” He started walking and as usual, Spock fell into step beside him.

“You have increased the frequency and duration of your physical training by 11.2% and 8.1% respectively.”

“And?” Jim asked, in a tone of voice that implied _‘Yeah, so what?’_ Still, he was somewhat surprised by the numbers. Until he heard the actual percentages, he hadn’t realized he’d been doing quite that much.

“And, based on my observations during the times we have been together, you have decreased your consumption of food by approximately 5% overall and by 12.6% in fats and simple carbohydrates.”

Jim thought that improving his eating habits and physical condition might be a bit less disapproval-worthy than his First Officer’s tone implied. “So, do you have a point, or are you just trying to dazzle me with your grasp of statistics?”

“You’ve made these changes in the weeks since the Enterprise last visited the new Vulcan colony.” He paused and looked back down the hall for passing crewmen before continuing. “Since your visit with Ambassador Selek,” he added with a raised eyebrow for emphasis.

Jim tried to raise an eyebrow back at him, but he suspected made him look goofy, instead of cool and superior like Spock when he did it. They were nearly at the door to his quarters anyhow, and any discussion that related to the Ambassador wasn’t something he wanted to have in the hallway. He keyed his door open and nodded toward the interior in invitation. Spock inclined his head slightly in acceptance and preceded him inside.

Jim walked around the chessboard, shifting it to one side and took his usual seat at the table. Spock joined him, with his hands clasped formally together on the tabletop.

“So, Spock, let me see if I understand this right. Unless you’ve suddenly developed an affinity for small talk in the form of random observations, which, yes, you’ve pointed out is illogical, then I assume you’re asking if the changes have any relation to my talk with ‘ _Selek’_.”

Spock’s head dipped slightly in acknowledgement. “That is correct. Specifically, I was wondering if my counterpart conveyed information about the Jim Kirk of his timeline that prompted concern for your health.”

Kirk nodded with a wry half-smile. “Well, I guess in a way you could say it’s related.”

“Jim,” Spock leaned forward earnestly, “if you’ve become aware of any potential health risks, it would be wise to inform Dr. McCoy so he can develop a course of treatment to ensure you avoid them in the future.”

He shook his head, attempting a reassuring expressing. “I’m not expecting to develop a fatal illness, Spock. It’s nothing like that.”

“Although I did not press my older self for details, I know his Jim Kirk had died many years before he himself crossed our timeline. Was insufficient physical condition a factor in his demise? I find myself concerned for your wellbeing.”

“And I do appreciate that.” This time the smile was genuine. He brushed a light touch against Spock’s sleeve, needing some contact, but not wanting derail the conversation with it. “No, it’s not really anything serious; it’s kind of silly actually, more a matter of vanity. I was curious about what the other me looked like, okay? So I asked if he could show me.”

Spock’s expression softened into the one Jim identified as his smiling-without-smiling look. “Ah. I as well.”

“You… oh.” He sighed in defeat. “So then you saw what I’ll end up looking like eventually.”

“There is a problem with that?”

“Of course there’s a _problem_! I’m going to get old and flabby and…” Jim lowered his eyes and shrugged.

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“… and then you won’t want me anymore.”

“Jim, you – he – remained an eminently attractive man as he aged. Even though I find your current physical form quite pleasing, and would certainly not encourage you to amass an unhealthy amount of excess weight, we also share a deeper connection on a mental and spiritual level, and I assure you that will not change no matter what your appearance.”

“But he was _fat_ , Spock! How could you still want me physically if I looked like that? How could the other Spock _not_ be disappointed with him?”

Spock lay a hand over his. “I believe he found it not disappointing but endearing. As do I.”

“En _dear_ ing?” Jim was incredulous.

“Indeed. For a number of reasons. It was a comfort to know you never again had to endure famine.”

Kirk winced at that but Spock shook his head. “It was unfortunate that you faced such hardship at a formative age. I find it causes me … some degree of unease … to merely envision you in those circumstances. To consider that any situation of a similar nature may one day recur is unacceptable.”

The hand over Jim’s tightened slightly, and Kirk could only nod in return. “You know I feel the same about everything bad that happened to you as a kid too.”

After a moment, Spock’s grip loosened and he continued. “My counterpart and I also viewed that Kirk’s waning pursuit of one physical ideal of perfection as a sign of his comfort with himself. He learned he didn’t need to rely solely on physical appeal to be liked, and to succeed in diplomatic situations. His intellect, experiences and innate charisma were far greater factors, and the actual traits to which most beings you encounter respond.

“Additionally, it evinced a level of comfort with his crew and command, that he no longer felt he had to constantly be prepared to face and overcome every physical difficulty himself, instead being able to trust those in his command to do their jobs, and trust in his own leadership to guide them in those roles satisfactorily.

“Finally, it represented attaining comfort in their bond and relationship. He came to accept, as I hope you will one day, that he was valued, admired, and indeed loved, for who and what he was and not just the aesthetically pleasing body and superficial charm you use to prevent others from seeing, as you say ‘the real you’.”

“Oh,” Jim managed softly, blinking back the overwhelming emotion at Spock’s flattering words. He turned his hand over, within the warmth of Spock’s still covering it, and clasped their hands together.

Spock allowed him the time to pull himself together. While Jim’s normal reaction would have been chagrin that Spock saw him nearly moved to tears by the promise in the verbal imagery he wove, he decided that allowing that glimpse of the inner Jim Kirk was a first step toward gaining that comfort with himself and their relationship he now aspired to.

After a moment he broke the tension with a forced grin. “So, what you’re saying is that I’m just _awesome_ no matter what, huh Spock?” He squeezed their joined hands. “Want to show me how much you appreciate my current hot bod before I go all soft in my old age?”

The eyebrow was sarcastic, but the look in his eyes was all desire.

“But _first_ ,” Jim interrupted before he had a chance to agree, “I really want pie. I’ve been skipping desserts for two whole weeks. Care to join me in the dining hall? Tell you what – we can share a piece so I don’t get fat any time soon.”

“That would be acceptable.”

“And afterwards,” he said, tugging Spock toward the door, “we can come back here and _share_ something else?”

“ _That_ would be even more acceptable.”

\--

**Author's Note:**

> Besides, diets are stupid and pie is awesome!


End file.
